The babysitter`s club...

Did anyone else babysit when they were younger? I used to babysit for various kids who lived in my neighbourhood. I even nanny-ed for a couple of months for a 7 month old and his 3 year old brother when I was 19. So you would think that having been a babysitter and being trusted with other people`s children on a fairly regular basis, I wouldn`t have such a hard time leaving my son with people. In Japan, babysitting is something that is pretty much unheard of. If you can`t leave your child with your partner, parents, in-laws or put them in daycare then it is pretty much decided that you are never leaving the house without them! There also doesn`t seem to be much of a concept that Mummy and Daddy might want some "couple" time outside of the home once your child arrives and as such, very few couples go out on "dates" once they have become parents. (well, this is the impression I get anyway, from looking at my friends who had babies around the same time as me...) As a result, the idea of asking one of the junior high school/ high school age kids who lives in your neighbourhood to look after a child that isn`t related to them for money is completely unheard of. Not that I would trust most of the kids of this age in Japan to look after another child but that is another discussion for another day... I am lucky that I have a few friends who are MORE than willing to look after J when I want to go out with my husband but I have yet to take them up on this offer. A fact which has started to bother me. Why is it that I feel so unable to leave my son with other people? Why am I so worried that he will start crying and not calm down and this will be "meiwaku" (a pain in the butt) for whoever is looking after him!?! Babies cry. Anyone who has offered to look after a baby is probably more than aware of the trials and tribulations they might face. I looked after a baby younger than my son for two months during the day when I was 19 and had very little experience with babies and we survived so why do I feel that my son and whoever is looking after him will be different!?!? I guess the answer is that I don`t really feel like that, I am just being brainwashed by the Japanese idea that D and I shouldn`t ever get any couple time and that we are selfish for wanting it. I know that part of the reason is that J is still breastfeeding very regularly and so I can`t leave him for long periods of time but then I remind myself that it won`t kill him to have to accept a bottle or a sippy cup once in a while!! Lately I have started to worry that my over-protectiveness and unwillingness to leave J with someone other than my MIL or DH (and even leaving him with DH worries me!) is meaning that my sociable little man is missing out on hanging out with cool people who will spoil him rotten and play lots of fun games with him. Anyway, there are two reasons that this topic has been swirling round in my head. One is my job interview on tuesday. I realised that rather than making MIL come all the way over from Kanoya again, I would have to look into other options. I have a very kind ex-student called Masako who has two daughters (aged 20 and 15) and she absolutely adores my son. He doesn`t see her all that often but he adores her as well and the baby who forgot his own father when we went to Malaysia, always seems to remember and have a smile for Masako when she comes round. SO I bit the bullet and e-mailed her to ask if she would be willing to look after him while I went to my interview. She jumped at the chance (she has been offering to look after him since he was born, just like his other potential babysitters) and now I am working through my worries right here on my blog!!! ;-) The other reason I am trying to convince myself that I am being silly about worrying about all this is that it is the 2 year anniversary of our wedding ceremony next monday so I would like to go out with D at some point over the weekend. It just happens to be the same weekend that Narnia FINALLY comes out in the Japan and it would be the perfect treat for our special day! SO.. I am trying to get over my babysitter anxiety before Aunty Jenn comes to look after Mr T while Mummy and Daddy go to the cinema!!! Fingers crossed I will be ready in time!! LOL!! (And it will also be good practise for leaving him at daycare if I manage to get a job!!)