Daycare guilt blues...

I started taking on classes when Joey was 5 months old. Almost all of the classes allowed me to take him with me while I taught and the one that didn`t was only twice a month so MIL would come from Kanoya to look after him which worked out as a perfect arrangement because she had an excuse to come and fawn over her grandson twice a month and I had a purpose which enabled me to get out and converse with adults for a couple of hours twice a month. Recently one of my students from before I got pregnant asked me to start up classes again. With the new car, my plans to go home in the summer and other random expenses, I figured I couldn`t afford to say no and plus which, I love being at home with Joey but have been feeling the need to create some time for myself as being with him 24/7 is beginning to make me go a little bit insane and I also figured that daycare would be a fabulous opportunity for him to learn new things, interact with other kids around his age and spend some time away from me. I found a really nice little daycare centre that had just opened down the street from our flat, the teachers seemed really nice and they offered me a bargain deal if I promised to take Joey there four times a month. I was very excited about getting a couple of hours of "me" time (I decided to take him there for four hours every monday morning, two hours for me and two hours to cover the time I would need for the class/ travel) On monday morning I did feel a little bit sick/ anxious after I left him but he didn`t cry when I left and seemed content enough. I told them to call me if they had any problems. When I went to pick him up (I even went a little bit early because I was worried about him/ missing him) he was still playing happily with the teachers, although they said he had been looking for me on and off but hadn`t cried at all. HE ran towards me with a HUGE grin on his face which was very cute. I was very happy because although I realise that next week might not be as easy because he will have worked out that I am leaving him, our first daycare experience had been a big success. Yesterday there was no change in Joey at all, he wasn`t any clingier than usual, didn`t cry when I left the room to go to the bathroom etc.. So I figured it was all good and left him with MIL yesterday afternoon while I went to class. I came back to a sour-faced MIL and comments that "daycare was not a good thing because Joey had obviously changed as a result." I was a little concerned but after hearing her version of events I calmed down a little bit but I still feel guilty. Apparently he woke up cranky from his nap and stayed that way so it MUST have been because I left him at daycare the day before. This made me feel bad but at the same time I could think of 100 other reasons why he woke up cranky...One big reason being that it turned out that MIL had covered him while he was asleep (despite it being VERY hot and humid yesterday) and then he got all hot and sweaty and she tried wiping off the sweat (not uncovering him) which woke up him. My guess is that he woke up hot and sweaty and icky and I don`t blame him for being cranky!!! Add to the fact that he didn`t nap at all yesterday due to schedules being thrown out of whack when my MIL arrived an hour earlier than expected so he really needed a nice long nap in the afternoon, not to be woken up by someone trying to wipe sweat off him. The other reason is that hot and humid weather always makes me cranky and D is the same so the chances are that Joey has just inherited our cranky genes!!! LOL! Obviously I might be in denial and daycare might have fundamentally affected him but he is a pretty happy outgoing baby and I have never had problems leaving him with people before. Plus which, he can`t remain attached to my side forever and will have to spend time away from me eventually so I figure getting him used to it slowly is a good thing, rather than keeping him at home until he is 3 and then sending him to kindergarten cold turkey. He seemed to have so much fun at daycare that I am trying hard not to feel guilty about my need to leave my son in the care of others so I can get some time to myself!