Job description of a Wife..

Lately there have been alot of interesting discussions circulating the blog world I have found myself taking an interest in. A post on Morphing into Mama about a friend of hers who is a SAHWife got me thinking about the different way of looking at things in Japan. In Japan, when you get married, certain things seem to be expected of you whether you work outside the home or not. For example, it is customary for the wife to be the first person awake in the household. Breakfast is the wife`s reponsibility and when my MIL sees me trying to give my husband granola for breakfast she always makes some comment about how that kind of thing is "snack food" from the point of view of a Japanese person. A traditional Japanese breakfast consists of grilled fish, rice, miso soup and pickles. A western version (fried eggs, bacon and toast) is acceptable. The idea of grilling fish first thing in the morning makes my stomach turn so "poor" D gets an assortment of random breakfasts like french toast, pancakes etc.. The majority of SAHWives I have encountered in Japan take their job VERY seriously. When I spent a couple of months at home while I was waiting for my spouse visa, I had a crack at doing the housewife thing "properly". I would make breakfast, bentos, clean the house from top to bottom every day, hang out my washing first thing in the morning, iron all the clothes (now I iron D`s work shirts IF he is lucky) and I even baked the occasional cake. I found that my days filed up pretty quickly so I could see why someone who enjoys being a homemaker would enjoy staying at home. I, however, hate cooking, can bearly tolerate cleaning and found myself getting more and more resentful of my situation every day. Had we been in the financial situation for me to go out for lunch, have my hair/nails done every week, it might not have been quite so bad but I found that as a job, being a SAHWife wasn`t me. Ooops... got a bit carried away with my personal anecdote there! Was originally planning just to talk about how Japanese people percieve the job of being a wife! Wives are expected to control the household. They look after the finances and most husbands are given a certain allowance for the month to cover drinking parties and other private activities. There are magazines with articles full of how to save money by putting tin foil on the inside of your refrigerator or using bath water to flush the toilet. When I was at home by myself (pre-Joey) I would spend many hours reading the articles (VERY good Japanese practise) but as all the ideas seemed a bit too much like hard work, I decided to get a job outside the home to pay for the bills instead! ;-) I was lucky enough to have the option though. In the West there is a horrible tendency to look down on women who choose to stay at home, whether as a wife or a mother. In Japan it is one of the only things they seem to be more enlightened about. Women who stay at home take pride in their job and don`t consider themselves to be any less fulfilled than those women who chose to work. That said, it is alot harder here for women who want to return to work having been at home for a while... but that is a topic for another day!! ;-) When I was younger I used to participate in alot of debating/ public speaking competitions and one of my pet topics was feminism. From a very young age I have always believed that what is important for women is that we have a choice to stay at home and make our job that of a homemaker or to work outside the home and that choice is respected by those around us. That said, I would probably still feel like shoving chopsticks up the nose of someone who lived a life filled with manicures and haircuts who tried to tell me their life was "hard" because I barely have time to shave my legs these days!!