3/24/2006
Sad news..
I am officially back at my pre-pregnancy/ morning sickness weight. :-( (Shhh don`t tell my husband!) This sucks because all the lovely clothes I bought in the summer when I was rejoicing in my new slimmer size don`t fit me anymore which is a problem because I have nothing to wear! I think it is time I did somemore exercise and maybe I should try and eat a little bit less chocolate. (but maybe I will start that AFTER easter!!)
Weight has been another big issue doing the rounds on a couple of my favourite blogs MIM and Homesickhome. MIM`s blog in particular has been the site of some spectacular flaming. I have always wondered why people feel the need to say nasty things to people they have never met/ will never meet. When I used to post regularly on Big Daikon there would be a post every other day about how all foreign women in Japan were fat, ugly and sex-starved. I first started posting there about 5 years ago and occasionally pop back to see what is going on and am saddened to see that the same idiot trolls/ charisma men are there and are still putting down women they have never even met.
Weight is a very personal issue for me because I grew up with a mother who would call me names like "ten-ton Tessie" and tell me I looked like a baby elephant during ballet recitals because I was never the petite little daughter she wanted. I know that as an Asian woman who grew up being told that she was fat, it is hard for her to get it out of her head but I don`t think I will ever forgiver her for the constant put-downs. One particularly painful one was just before I came back to japan to get married when she told me that when I got pregnant I would get fat and look like an elephant and then D would have an affair with a petite pretty Japanese woman and divorce me. Now this comment came from a woman who was deeply opposed to my marriage so you would wonder why she would think this was a bad thing but it still hurt. As it happened I got so sick with morning sickness that I lost nearly 30 lbs and weighed less when I was 9 months pregnant and about to pop than I do now! :-(
Being in Japan doesn`t help either. I will admit that I am possibly a little bit on the chubby side but I am very tall (5ft11) and big-boned so I will never be skinny. However, even at my skinniest I will always be a giant in the eyes of the average Japanese person. Before I had my son I would often be greeted in the supermarket by miserable old gits who felt the need to look surprised and yell "dekai" (HUGE) or "ookii" (BIG) while making big gestures with their arms. These days everyone is too busy telling me how cute he is to comment on my size so I don`t feel the need to kill myself every time I leave the house! Having my son with me to detract attention has really helped my self esteem! ;-)
That said, I think that my child-bearing hips are the reason I had a relatively easy child-birth experience and my son`s head wasn`t a weird shape when he came out! LOL! There is a bright side to everything.. now if I could find some jeans that fit I would be a happy lady!
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10 comments:
I've said this a million times today. It gives me a lump in my throat each and everytime I type it. But, I guess if I type it enough times it won't hurt as much:
I went to my yearly physical in Feb. My doctor who is Japanese not that it mattered but, I just realized a pattern with what you said about the women in the market where you live. Well this is how it all went down:
Her: How tall are you?
Me: 5 feet 4
Her: WOW!
Me: WOW???? WOW what???
Her: Oh um..(she starts counting on her fingers)
You're 40 pounds overweight!
Me: SILENCE. GULP. SILENCE. MORE Awkward Silence.
Her: Well,let's see, we're the same height and I weigh 120 and you weigh 180. That's a lot of weight to carry around!
WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST CALL ME GORDO RIGHT THEN AND THERE. YOU KNOW, DAGGER IN THE HEART.
Me: areyoukiddingmerightnow!!!!!!!!!!!
It doesn't help that I'm married to a US Marine who eats, sleeps and breaths-Physical Fitness.
I really need to blog about this but....I dont' feel like the hate emails you know :)
Midori, I totally understand this. I've become really thick-skinned to people saying this and instead have them concentrate on how I speak Japanese. :)
Thinking of you and hope that everyone who is experiencing issues with weight will be able to take a healthier mental attitude to things.
BTW Tanyetta, when I go to the doctors in Japan, I listen to them with one ear and take EVERYTHING they say with a grain of salt. Hope you feel better too!
One of these days I will get around to posting about my weight ... but it would be a long post and semi-painful to write, so I'm hold off, kwim?
((hugs)) Midori, my heart goes out to you!
Tanyetta, I have NEVER had a doctor treat me that way! Shame on HER! I guess since I grew up in southern Louisiana, most of the males doctors I had were scared to say anything about my weight because all their women clients would find out and stop coming. ;)
I don`t think I will ever be small by comparision anywhere I go but wouldn`t mind being average! I have always thought I should move to Holland or Scandinavia as tall women are the norm there!!
Tanyetta- how did you resist the urge to not bitch slap her and leave the office right then and there!?!
Sorry people make such stupid comments Midori. As long as you're healthy that is the *most* important thing.
I'm 5'3 and petite (= no chest) and I've had Japanese comment on how short I am and one person said'wow you're foreign but my daughter has bigger boobs than you' -uhh??
It's amazing how often people comment on others weight. I've had 2 people comment on my weight within minutes - one said ' you look like you've put on weight' ...the other said 'you look like you've lost weight' - I chose to believe her :-)
While I totally understand your comments (I never returned to pre-preg weight)- don't sweat the small stuff or the people who obviously have small minds.
We have wonderful husbands, lovely little boys, a place to live, our health, and obviously more intelligence in our 'big' feet than those people who speak without thinking (or those whose lives are so sad they feel free to make abusive comments).
You've got a great season ahead of you when you and Joey can get out and about and walk off that Easter chocolate. And of course as soon as he's running - you'll be running too :-)
My current response if anyone comments on my weight is "Gosh you are very rude aren't you"...and turn and walk away. Up to them to figure out if they want to apologise - either way I feel better and more confident because of my comment.
Ohhhh, I sooooooo know what you mean!! I was very comfortable with my body in the US, and then I came to Japan and things went completely downhill... I can't get my hips into a pair of pants successfully, shirts are too narrow in the shoulders, and I can't find shoes without going to speciality stores (I'm about 26cm). As a result, one of my favorite things to do (shopping) has become an exercise in torture and I buy all of my clothes at the Gap. Tokyo is finally starting to offer more options, but it's still far from ideal. But recently I see more and more Japanese women and girls who are taller *and* bigger than me, so things have to change soon, right?!
I feel big here, too. I hate feeling like an elephant around the skinny women. I also have no chest (possibly even smaller after breastfeeding!?!) and have had comments in Japan (where else) about how I should be more "glamourous".
I think you look BEAUTIFUL!!! And I'm so sorry to hear your mother was really nasty about your weight. I basically think the same thing as Megan - 'Don't sweat the small stuff' (and actually had changed my forum signature to that earlier today - very strange coincidence!) - but having your mother be mean like that -- that's just vicious. And while marriages do end and affairs do happen, I think weight gain would be number 100 or so on the list of top 100 reasons for that. A happy marriage has NOTHING to do with being able to wear the same size jeans all your life. Hang in there, Kyushu babe!
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