11/16/2006
Different perceptions of self...
Have any of you ever felt weird because people perceive you differently to how you feel/ really are?! This evening I went to a party that was organised to celebrate the success of the "Integration Stay" run by kagoshima university that I helped to interpret a couple of weeks ago. I thought "cool, a chance to go and hang out with some university students." This is, I forget that it will be 6 years since I graduated next June. I am way past hanging out with university students and although in my head and heart time kind of stalled the year I came to Kagoshima when I was 23, I am actually going to be 29 in January and I have a son and a husband. The university students there tonight didn`t see me as a potential drinking buddy, I was the English woman, married to a maths teacher with a cute son. Being considered a woman rather than a girl is still quite scary for me as sometimes I feel like the 15 year old me is playing dress-up/ house. I feel like I am exactly the same inside, just maybe a little bit more mature but with heaps more responsibilities and decisions to make.
Sometimes there is part of me that wants to go back in time to my university days as although I partied pretty hard, I think I missed out on some aspects that I would like the re-live! It is a shame that no-one has a time machine I could borrow! So my reflective question of today is, if you could go back in time to one point of your life, when would it be and why!?!
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6 comments:
I totally get it. I too feel 23 (in my heart) and feel like I`m pretty cool and must be "oh so fun to hang with" but at 43, with 3 kids and a husband.... no one sees me as I "feel" me. Oh well. I`m still dancing!!!!
I can relate. I totally would not trade having our daughter for anything but there is a small part of me that would love to go for drinks and party it up!
I know what you mean. I often wonder when I`m going to feel like an adult. I still giggle when dh and I talk about "saving for retirement" or "The Children". I think I`ll keep dancing too. :)
I feel the same. I love my kids, but would love to go out for a night alone. I'm in my 40s and feel like I'm 20 on the inside. It's odd sometimes to look in the mirror.
Hi Midori
I'm just so excited that I can see your blog with its new template for once and also comment(till I go back to Vietnam next week).
Anywho--I think we always feel young inside no matter how old we get.
I notice it most on the internet. When I'm chatting back and forth about kids and such, I don't feel a lot older than the people on the other end.
In person though? That's something else.
I don't think I'd want to go back. Once was enough.
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