5/06/2007
One month to go...
This time next month I will be at Kansai airport checking in for my flight home. It is something I have been looking forward to for a long time but inevitably, as the move grows closer, I am starting to remember the good in Kagoshima! ;-) I guess that is what happens when you have two places that you call home, you are always sad to leave one of them! I have been slowly giving my students notice and have had very mixed reactions. I guess a part of me thought that everyone would be really devastated and react with the "OMG! how are we going to live without your wonderful english teaching skills!?!?" type reaction. However, alot of people seem to be taking it really well and although part of me is relieved that I am not creating havoc in their lives, part of me is a tiny bit disappointed that I am not indispensable! ;-) There were some tears when I told two of my classes though and that made me feel bad so maybe the other reaction is preferable!!!
As time goes on I am becoming more scared about the whole thing. Can I really make things work in London? Will I really be able to find the kind of job I have always wanted and make a successful career of it? The thing that scares me more than anything is that by realising the dream of moving home and trying out life there, I will be taking the dream away and if it doesn`t work, I will have nothing left that could possibly make my life better! Does that make sense? I am also overwhelmingly sad about leaving my great friends here in Kagoshima because for all the problems and dissatisfaction I have with my life at the moment, the one thing I am 100% blessed with is my friends (oh, and Joey being such a happy healthy little boy, so I guess that is two things!!!) I know I will be back to visit and that we will stay friends through e-mail etc.. but it isn`t quite the same. If I could take my friends with me, then this whole plan would be perfect!!! I also feel bad about taking Joey away from everyone here, especially D and my PIL. Sometimes I wonder if I am being spectacularly selfish but then I remember how much peace I felt after I made my decision, and deep down I know that even if it is hard/ sad, I am doing the right thing.
So the next month will no doubt be very busy, especially as I plan to keep my usual work schedule and to work right up until I leave and there are lots of plans for fun stuff in the works as well. Wish me luck with getting all my packing/ junk purging done!
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7 comments:
Wow only one more month! I am so excited for you! It takes such courage to do what you are doing. So rooting for you girl!
Sorry, I wrote a comment and spelled England wrong, if you can believe that. Let me try again.
Is Daisuke not going with you to England? You said you felt bad about taking Joey away from D and PIl. I looked back through your archives and I couldn't find any reference about this. If Daisuke (cool name, by the way) is not going with you then this is a big adventure isn't it!
I applaud you for taking such a big step. I think the only disappointment would be not trying as opposed to trying and not succeeding. There would always be a big "what if" echoing in your mind.
Good luck with this adventure! If your don't mind, I will keep you and Joey in my prayers.
I'm excited too! I'm so happy for you guys Midori! This really is going to be quite an amazing year for you! Good vibes sent from Chiba! : )
It takes courage to try and achieve dreams - I know you'll give it your best shot!
xx Rachel
Hey Midori. I can really empathise with you on this. I hope it goes really smoothly but don't worry too much if it doesn't. I am taking ages to get resettled in to being home but I know we made the best decision to move home. Better for the long run.
Be ruthless with your purging!
Great - you're taking a child away from his father so you can be happy? Not tos ound rude, but unless you're husband is abusive or has cheated on you, I think that you are being a little selfish. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have goals, but don't rush to get married and pop out kids if you plan on up and leaving.
If this post sounds rude, I apologize. Just don't post stuff for the world to see, and not expect friendly comments.
Hopefully your son will have a lot of contact with his father in the future (unless you are leaving for a reason other than simply wanting to be in London).
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